Now Hiring · One (1) Position Available
Req. BAB-001 · Posted 12 days ago · No closing date · Previously viewed · Frequently viewed
Becoming
a Bibby
A long-term partner role has opened in the life of Ryan Bibby. It's full-time and permanent — the kind of position you retire from, together. The candidate's profile is below. Applications are reviewed on a rolling basis.
- 365Days/year willing to try
- 100% commitment offered
- 0Games played
Ryan Bibby (goes by Bibby)
Long-Term Partner Candidate · Husband (Aspiring)
- Location: Marietta, GA
- Age: 25
- Height: 5'7"
- Ham radio callsign: KN4RQL
- Faith: Catholic
- Available immediately
- ryan@bibby.dev
Objective
To secure a mutually fulfilling, lifelong partnership with a kind, curious, slightly-too-competitive-at-board-games individual who shares the faith. Seeking growth opportunities, shared takeout, and a co-signer on increasingly elaborate weekend road trips. Open to relocation of the heart. Not open to relocation of the antennas.
Executive Summary
Reliable, low-drama candidate with seven years of independent adult life, a verified history of remembering birthdays, and at least two functioning love languages. Strengths include showing up on time, genuine interest in your day, and strong opinions about road-trip snacks. Comfortable working solo but built for a committed two-person team. Currently exceeding every personal KPI except "found a partner" — hence this listing.
Station Licence (Schedule A · amateur radio)
KN4RQL
Marietta, Georgia · kn4rql.radio
- Service
- FCC Amateur Radio, licensed
- Operating
- Listening rather more than transmitting
- Antenna
- Has been fixed in the rain. Twice.
- Static
- Tolerated indefinitely
- Contacts
- More than he can name. All strangers.
- QSL
- Always answered. Every time.
A QSL card is what one operator posts to another to confirm that contact was made — proof that on a particular evening, on a particular frequency, two strangers found each other and bothered to say so. The hobby is, underneath it, the practice of calling out on the chance that somebody is listening, and then listening properly when they answer. He has got quite good at it at three hundred miles. He would like to manage it once at arm's length, and then stop.
Infrastructure (Schedule B · disclosure)
There is a server in the house. It is called GLaDOS. Nobody is paying for any of this, and nobody has ever been asked to.
- The gateway
- Serves a different front page depending on who's asking
- Radio station
- Operational
- File node
- Public, and deliberately so
- Media
- For people who have never once said thank you
- This listing
- Operational, obviously
- Backups
- Yes. Tested, which is the part people skip.
- Uptime
- Measured in months
- On call
- Him. Always him.
None of this is a job and none of it pays. It runs because a handful of people quietly depend on it, and because he would much rather they never had to notice it at all. The metaphor is not subtle and it is not accidental: the whole appeal of the thing is being reliable for somebody in a way they never have to think about.
On the Record (Schedule C · the ones he'll defend)
Taste isn't a personality and a list of it isn't a profile. What follows is the short version — the handful he will actually argue about, which is a different thing entirely.
- Favourite film
- Dead Poets Society. He has the argument ready.
- Favourite game
- Portal 2 — and the server in Schedule B is named after it
- Favourite Avenger
- Doctor Strange. Correctly.
- Comfort shelf
- Ghibli, Middle-earth, Narnia, Fantastic Mr Fox
- Comic sci-fi
- Hitchhiker's and Doctor Who, permanently in rotation
- Sunday afternoon
- Mel Brooks, at volume
- Sight unseen
- Anything A24 puts out
- On the nightstand
- How to Win Friends, and How to Hug a Porcupine. Both earnest. Both working.
- People over
- Jackbox. Always Jackbox.
The first anime he ever watched isn't on the list — the title doesn't survive being said out loud to anyone who hasn't seen it. It stays off the record on those grounds alone, but it is the reason he will call you darling one day without noticing he's done it.
Core Competencies
Additional skills: long road trips, boating, disappearing into a good book, holding a radio contact with a stranger three time zones away, and pretending I haven't seen the show you want to watch together.
Professional Experience
Stated once and then left alone: this would be a first role. What follows is everything that prepared me for it anyway.
Independent Adult · Real Life, Inc.
2019 – Present- Seven years self-sufficient: bills paid, fridge stocked, life generally upright.
- Filed taxes on time every single year. No notes from the IRS. None.
- Owns a functioning toolbox and knows where the stud finder is.
- Cleans the apartment before guests arrive, not during.
Amateur Radio Operator · KN4RQL
Licensed · Active- Chose a hobby that is, at its core, listening carefully and replying clearly.
- Comfortable starting a conversation with a complete stranger and keeping it going.
- Patient under static. Will, in fact, fix the antenna in the rain.
Homelab Sysadmin · Self-Hosted (Linux)
Always – On- Maintains 100% uptime on things people quietly depend on.
- Debugs calmly at 1 a.m. without blaming the nearest person.
- Yes — will absolutely fix your Wi-Fi, and not be smug about it.
Education & Certifications
- Enrolled since 2020 — degree in progress. Took a job at the university along the way and have been pursuing the degree on a flexible, scenic timeline ever since. Minor in overthinking.
- Licensed: FCC Amateur Radio operator (KN4RQL).
- Practicing: Roman Catholic — Sunday Mass is a fixed point; road trips get routed past a parish.
- Published: Poetry and short fiction, under a pen name he isn't sharing. You'll have to take his word for it, which is roughly how he prefers most things.
- Certified: Will pull over and ask for directions (eventually).
- Certified: Forklift operator. This has never once been relevant and he brings it up constantly.
- Self-taught: Can fold a fitted sheet. Has receipts.
Candidate Requirements (what we're looking for in you)
Required
- Shares the Catholic faith (this one's genuine, not a bit)
- Kindness, the boring everyday kind
- A sense of humour that survives a long car ride
- Communicates instead of disappearing
- Wants a family, and wants to talk about what that looks like
Preferred
- Up for road trips, boating, and the open water
- Happier barefoot
- Naps without guilt
- Drinks the filtered water
- Spells well, and quietly notices when others don't
- Suspicious of anything that wants an account before it will do anything
- Will argue about the ending of a film she loves
- Will debate "is a hot dog a sandwich" with conviction
- Tolerant of the occasional radio or Linux tangent
Dealbreakers
- "I'm not really a texter"
- Rude to waitstaff
- Doesn't return the shopping cart
- Still texting an ex "for closure"
Compensation & Benefits
This role offers a competitive total rewards package, vested immediately:
Beverage Service
Coffee or tea delivered to your side of the bed. Recurring. Non-negotiable.
Cold-Weather Plan
Designated hand-warmer and reliable little-spoon/big-spoon flexibility.
Entertainment Stipend
Unlimited movie nights. Will watch your show. Will not narrate predictions.
Maintenance Coverage
On-call for assembling furniture, killing spiders, and reaching high shelves.
Travel Perks
Itineraries planned, snacks packed, window seat surrendered upon request.
24/7 Support
Answers the phone. Calls back. Remembers what you were worried about.
I gave away my dead batteries today. Free of charge.
Attachments (submitted unprompted)
Photographs have been enclosed. Nobody requested photographs. They are offered in support of the claims made above, shuffled on every visit so that nobody is spared any of them, and the last one stays last over the strenuous objection of everybody consulted.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this a joke?
Yes. Also no. It's a joke that would be delighted to be taken seriously by the right person.
What does "becoming a Bibby" entail?
Optional surname adoption, a standing invitation to Mass, co-ownership of an alarming number of radios, and an elite collection of dad jokes — effective long before any actual dad-hood.
What's the catch?
I leave cabinet doors open. I will talk to you about Linux servers unprompted. That's roughly the extent of it.
Are you actually on the dating apps?
I built a website instead. Make of that what you will.
What if I'm not looking for anything serious?
Respect. We're hiring for a different role. Best of luck out there.
References
Glowing references available upon request — including my mother, a few close friends, and at least two people legally unrelated to me. They have been briefed and are, frankly, eager.
Statement of Intent
For all the corporate scaffolding above: what I'm actually after is somebody I can be unguarded around — who takes that as a gift rather than a weight, who likes being loved attentively and out loud, who lets me get the car door, and who doesn't mind being asked to text when she gets home. Someone who shares the faith, and who'd think no less of me on a bad day. That's the whole of it. The rest of the page is the joke it appears to be.
It is early where this is written. The coffee is on and the radios are warming up.
Not sure yet? There are six questions first, which take about a minute and are not a filter — the form is always right there.
Ready to apply?
Submit Your Application
No cover letter required, though a good opening line never hurt anyone. Four fields, two of them optional, and one true thing about yourself.
Back again. Nothing has changed since last time, but it is good to see you. Counted in your browser and nowhere else — I'm not told.
You have been back a few times now. Whatever it is you are weighing up, it is very probably fine. Counted in your browser and nowhere else — I'm not told.
You keep coming back to this page. So, plainly: if what you are deciding is whether to write something — write it. Badly is fine. It is a much lower bar than a page laid out like this makes it look. Counted in your browser and nowhere else — I'm not told.
It has been a while. The position is still open, which is less of a joke than it sounds. Counted in your browser and nowhere else — I'm not told.
Applications reviewed personally. No bots, no recruiters, no "hope this finds you well."